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Saturday, June 8, 2013

The AVENGERS (2012) Movie Review

Alright I should've posted this earlier cuz' YESTERDAY, I just went to watch Men In Black 3. Yes I know, it may get all of you excited like mama's palooza rectum but I'll do that maybe tomorrow. Usually within the next few days.

But now we're TALKING! ABOUT THE AVENGERS! YA >:D I watched this like about around May and it was awesome. There was many funny parts in this movie. Like literally a lot. Almost every scene does. 

I don't even know if I should start from beginning to end. Would that be a waste of time? Yes. So spoilers ahead, don't want them? Leave :)

Alright. So in the first scene we hear the Chitaurian leader talking sh**. About we humans gonna burn. Our mischievous Loki found them and it's the army he receives. 

He's engaged to take this role of leading the Chitauri alien race as to create a hell out of Earth. Then later on, we skipped to the scene at one of SHIELD's base. Right after the camera goes into the Tesseract. The one took from the ship in the movie "Captain America: The First Avenger". 

Took it from the water. When Steve crashes the plane into the freezing ice ages. And SHIELD somehow finds him alive. Amazingly Steve was still sleeping after the de-ice his body. And woke up in the hospital. 

We came to the scene where Doctor Selvig, Nick and Clint was in. Clint was mainly Hawkeye. Clint Barton. Incase you people didn't know, he appeared in Thor's movie. Go see this scene here... Yeah this video shows only a dude holding an arrow as to not revealing Clint's face. Oh well. No others on YouTube. I dunno, people may not notice that's Hawkeye (Clint) up there. 

Lol XD

Alright. Anyways...they were examining the Tesseract. It came powerful and project opened a portal at the precised distance. And Loki went through having the portal to burn off as it closes behind him.

Nick starts to ask him to drop his spear which happens to release some alien sorcery. I dunno what it is, but it is powerful. I'm not sure, now that I talk about it. I'm confused what that is.

I assume it may contain the power of the Tesseract. Maybe not. Cause later we see him overtaking Selvig and Clint's body with the spear pointed onto their heart area. 

Loki attacks the soldiers of SHIELD. The Tesseract's source suddenly goes to the circular half ceiling and consume that part first. The entire building starts to vibrate or so. Loki and the two escapes off base. 

People went to chase them off but couldn't. Nick went into the helicopter and the pilot took it off. Then the ground starts cracking as it's about to get consumed from below the surface. 

Or so whatever sh**. But it only consumed the building base and a few metres surrounding the building. The main cast we know survived. Loki crouching at the back shoots down the chopper Nick was in.

Nick jumped out. And they well? Contacted each other a while. I'm not sure about this but I think the title just went on. And it wasn't even the same like it was in the trailer. They used Bank Gothic font and that's cheap.

I know it's the MW3 or Battlefield fonts but really? They couldn't use this sh**...

It was good and they used another design. But oh well. I could only care less from now on. Then we go onto the interrogation scene. Where Natasha was kidnapped by some Latin military or whoever they are.

I don't even know how the heck Black Widow gets caught. Probably knocked out or something. Then Phil calls in and threatens the military people in there to give Natasha the phone or else they'll blow the place up with C4 planted all over unnoticed. 

Then the General takes the phone back and oh! Booby shaking. Lol XD But they're not that big and I'm not expecting it to be cause even though I love huge melons. It'll look really retarded and off. 

But she kicks the ass out of those people. Walks off to the exit with her bare footed as she just hangs her high heels by her fingers. Then later we see a little Indian girl running throughout the markets of India. Went up the stairs of a house. 

And that's when we find our Hulk. Banner was in the house. Cleaning himself up in the sink. He starts to speak Latin which I have no aware of. But he apparently has been in India for quite a long amount of time.

He has to avoid people so he doesn't become the Hulk. Would scare everyone and that's it. The girl made Banner chase her to a small abandoned house which I think is where Banner stays in his main time.

Then Natasha pops in after her interrogation. Talks to Banner about the Tesseract. Ish. Then wow, I get kinda shock when he tested Natasha. "STOP LYING TO ME!" he said. Wow, it scared me and after that he just presumed he's trying to know what Natasha does.

But if he were to turn into the Hulk? It would get really off cuz' the movie just started like 20 minutes already and actions shouldn't be this big this far. 

Other than that. Banner tries to act nice and gentle. Then Natasha blew the cover that there are guards standing outside and military jeeps. Okay after that we just need to know that Natasha takes Banner to the SHIELD aircraft carrier.

Aww!!! You know what, I've been talking sh** about what happened before this paragraph. And I don't wanna go any further simply because it's a huge wasted amount of time. 

So just go to this link right here! [link]

And HISHE (How It Should Have Ended) made a parody of how the movie should've went. But it was really nothing to tell you. Everything went on the same except the just make fun of some scenes.

Here's the video...
Then yeah I think all this just goes to the Super Hero Cafe in this video. Yeah they talked with Superman and Batman. It was hilarious.

I don't get the jealous part. What's with all the box office money popping up there? Seriously? What's the point of that joke? I mean, other blockbuster films have also hit the box office money, why didn't that show up?

Weird :\

And I guess Daniel didn't even drew Banner himself. Kept himself as the Hulk. But it's up for an artist to decide whether he wants to draw Banner in human form or not. 

Not mine. So as I said, I will be pointless to pull out a SPAZ 12 Shotgun. 

Haha, yes :) But I'm just kidding. I meant there's no point forcing someone to do something if they refuse to/don't know about. They can find it out themselves or someday decided it's time to do it.

And wise people pretty much get what I mean. Well other than all this...I'll just get onto the characters so we can see my loved parts for the movie.

First we're gonna go through Steve... AKA Captain America.

I dunno, somehow I just think he'll come first. Lol XD

So yeah the costume makeover was not bad. I gotta say it looks really simple to be factual. I like that they added those metal curves or whatever you call it. Really sweet. Although I wish they remained the red circle with a white star in it. 

They would've rocked. They made massive amount of changes to his suit. They took out every overlapping layers of it. Stitch it all up together. And it looks like pure fabric if you ask me. Or is it leather? I dunno, I'm not a tailor. 

But I like it that the star on the chest was metal. Sweet touch. Then the belts and straps or suspenders run down the shoulders to the waist was now just plain. Cut off. The lower torso part is now white and stripped off with red. 

I love it that they gave him the red glove that has a long wrist cover. Rubber. A utility belt. And some sweet secured boots. I'm still impressed Steve knew how to wear his new uniform.

The part I loved was also when he told the cops to make perimeters and's awesome. The cop was like "Why should we listen to you?". And then some of the Chitauri came down and attack Steve.

Steve deformed them. And then the cop is obviously like. Oh sh** I better listen to him or else I'll get my ass whooped. But he had to know Steve means no harm. 

Lol XD And then now we're onto Tony Stark, Iron Man.

Now I still like it that he kept the Mark 6 armor on. I like Iron Man that he has a triangle up-side chest window instead of the circle one like in the comics and series.

It would suck. But this is real life, let's face it. Heh heh :D But the part where he fought with Thor. Thor is like the ancient God. He's a God dude. And Iron Man is just the man with an arc reactor heart and in a massive suit. 

What's that suppose the benefit? Thor could've win this. Also how did Steve's shield deflect the Mjolnir? It's a piece of weapon from Asgard. But suddenly after the fight...

Thor is allied now? What the sh**. And oh crap, am I talking about Tony or am I talking about Thor? I dunno, I just had to talk about this scene here...  Yeah sorry for poor quality. Come on, the DVD is not out yet. Dunno when it'll ever be. But yes, Steve jump down and said oh "That's enough!". Wow, he's the boss right now.

Thor is a god. He changed now he's going all caps rage to deny Steve telling him to drop the hammer. What is he? Thor-hulk? Exactly. 

And to be honest, how could Tony's suit survive such an impact from thunders striking his suit? And still be able to fire at Thor? Yes and directly after the end of this video...Steve asks if they're done.

And wow, Thor suddenly stops going all rage? Things have toned down didn't they? Lol XD Now I'm seeing a lot of question marks here. Which for now, we'll talk about Thor. 

Yeah sorry about the border. Nevermind...

But I really like this suit of his. The metal just goes down like a zip line of your shirt. Awesome. But he didn't have the gills on the upper arm.

This must be his alternative suit. Not sure but it may not. Not confirming that is. But I like it. Well suddenly at the war part he has the gills on. 

There's an exclusive clip of Steve and Thor fighting the  Yeah! Notice changed. Must be reconstructed after he fall off from the aircraft carrier in the cage. He fell...then the Mjolnir is on the grass.

He lifts and points it at the sky and the he starts creating a typhoon with his hammer. And earn the Mjolnir. Just like he did in his own movie. 

And he also gets to fight the Hulk! Just like he did in the cartoon series. I saw one episode where Hulk goes berserk and versus the other avengers.

Wow. He could lift the hammer. To be factual, Hulk's strength doesn't have a limit. So it'll be time for him to lift the Mjolnir.  Yeah well? It was awesome. And Thor had nosebleed, nice :) But wow...just like when he went to fought the Frost Giants. Called Thor a name? He strike you with the Mjolnir.

But Hulk wanna fight, bring it. I like it when after he got thrown...he waits for the right moment. Just when Banner is about to reach Thor.

BAM! The Hulk gets hit just like he did in the cartoon series. Fantastic! Ha! Other than that...umm...

If you guys dunno what I'm talking about, watch this scene when Hulk goes berserk attacking the other Avengers... See? But of course, everything was just wrecked up. Pieces everywhere. To be honest, I never really watched this series before.